Ebbs and Flows

If you’ve been following my socials, you’ll know that June and July were some particularly intense months for me, both as a business owner, and as an athlete.

Between my two businesses, from 1st June to 18th July, I had 21 shoots. Some days I was doing more than one client so I’d be out shooting nearly all day, I’ve travelled all over the surrounding counties to clients, and remember that I also had general business admin, emails and messages to keep on top of, post shoot viewing sessions to deliver images, and an ungodly amount of editing that I’m still working my way through.

And then on the 19th July, I competed at the A/BPU British Powerlifting Championships, and if you’ve competed before, you’ll know the all consuming nature of competing, how it’s constantly at the forefront of your mind, how every session as you creep closer to comp day seems to get even more essential, it takes over.

And then, after a tremendous amount of intensity, waking up every day knowing that I had to be as efficient, productive, and focused as possible to stay on top of everything, I had a road trip to Scotland, my favourite place on the planet, the place where my heart feels like it belongs. The exact antidote I needed to decompress from it all.

So why oh why did I take on so much more work than I would usually allow?

Well, I guess it comes down to the fact that a) I’m trying to expand both of my businesses as quickly as possible, and that takes a huge amount of intensity. And b) sometimes I lack foresight and forget that I’m allowed to spread things out. And possibly c) subconsciously I knew it would be a good idea to keep myself mentally occupied so I couldn’t freak out about Brits too much (Because the downside to being a very creative, sensitive human, is that it’s very challenging to keep myself from freaking out when something I’m passionate about gets closer and closer).

So let’s start with all the shooting I’ve been doing.

With my other business, I’m doing a LOT of equine portraits, so I’ve been developing new products for that business and needed portfolio images to market said products. Those kind of shoots will always take much longer than with a human because every horse is different and I need to take plenty of time to to make sure the horse’s are totally happy before we can start shooting, and then comes the fun challenge of positioning them exactly where I want them. So the equine shoots tend to be more time consuming.

With Pursuit, the main work I’ve been doing is shooting for the Sisters in Strength Project. If you haven’t heard me talking about this (How!? I’ve literally not shut up about it), it’s it year long project where I’m shooting female strength athletes of all shapes and sizes, both natural and assisted, in the nude, to showcase the beautiful range of women involved in strength sports. It’s an empowerment project for all women who choose to lift heavy shit and have dealt with the insecurities (Thanks social media) that come along with being a strong woman in a society obsessed with thinness.
This project is going to culminate as a book (Won’t be much longer before we’re looking at pre orders for that!!) and an exhibition, which will be on the 11th & 12th November at The Seasons Art Centre, Shrewsbury - tickets for this will be £5 on the door, but I’m also working on setting up online tickets to make things easier!

I adore being busy, I adore having the impact I get to have on so many wonderful humans with the work that I do, but I will admit that I definitely over cooked myself during these weeks, and by the time it came to my last 2 shoots on the Friday before Brits, I could really feel the heaviness in my mind and body. Also, my body was definitely telling me to slow the hell down as I even developed a stress rash (That’s a first!).
Why am I admitting this? Because I believe in showing the reality of what these situations are like, I hate the idea of portraying everything as jolly and rosy and perfect, running a business has some incredibly intense periods, and whilst you learn to get tougher and better at dealing with said periods, it’s still outstandingly difficult and you’ll suffer for the bigger picture. It’s just the reality of the life us business owners choose.
That said, I’d never suffer this much for an employer (I’ve worked for people before, I hated it and always ended up getting lazy and bored), but I’m more than happy to drag myself through hell for my own businesses!

So, how did Brits go I hear you asking?

Well not exactly as I’d hoped, but also as well as I could have wished for.

I’d really wanted to come away as a British Champion, but this year wasn’t my year for that. There was some phenomenal juniors that have come through into the open category and the standard they brought with them was mind blowing! I was beyond impressed with the numbers these athletes were putting up, and it was such an honour to compete against them.
I very quickly realised my hope for first wasn’t going to happen, so chose to battle it out for 3rd as I sat in 4th, a gnats whisker behind the young lady holding third place, however, I just couldn’t beat her, she was too good!
Despite being just outside the placings, I was so so proud of the way I competed throughout the day. My mental game was better than ever, in fact, I was almost too calm for squats! However I still finished with a clean third attempt at 112.5kg, a 2.5kg PB for me!

Then came bench, the lift that has become my nemesis after bombing all of my attempts at Worlds last year and having a really rocky few months in training with it. But again, my mental game was at it’s absolute best. Despite the nerves attempting to take over on my first attempt at 60kg, I kept my cool and managed a clean lift. I also got a perfect 62.5kg on second attempt, but 65kg just wasn’t there for my 3rd. It really didn’t matter though, I’d slain my demons and came away swelling with satisfaction at my performance.

Then came deadlifts, the lift where I know I always shine. I had an absolute ball and finished on a clean 3rd attempt of 162.5kg, a 7.5kg PB! I screamed when I got it and burst into tears, I was overwhelmed with joy and just couldn’t stop crying.

The improvement in my mindset was tremendous, I really couldn’t be happier with the way I performed on the day, and I even got to come away with a few PBs, so a fabulous day all in all!

Then I had a few days of recovery (And damn I needed it!!), went to watch Oppenheimer and Barbie in the same day (Can 100% recommend both!), before heading off to Scotland in my newest purchase; Florence, a Vauxhall Vivaro van.
She’s not at all kitted out, so I just slung a camp bed and my supplies in her, and off me and Bob went for a week long adventure.

It took me a little while to settle into a much slower pace after so much intensity, but once I did it was wonderful. I slept better than I have for weeks, spent countless hours reading at sunrise and sunset immersed in the nature around me, explored beautiful landscapes, visited many a castle/standing stone/cairn, and allowed myself to slip gently into a slower pace.

My stress rash slowly calmed down, my mind slowed and switched off, and I was able to just be present in the moment.

It was exactly what I needed, just me and my dog on a big adventure - most people seem surprised by the fact that I went on my own, but solo travel is something that I really love doing. I’m an introvert by nature, so the solace is restorative for me, plus I can go at my own pace (Not everyone likes getting up at 5:30am on holiday), I can see what I want so see, do what I want to do, and I’m living entirely on my own terms. If you’ve never travelled solo, then I’d highly recommend it, it’s a wonderful experience!

So that’s really been what’s been going on with me over the last 2 months, it’s been a total whirlwind. I’ve had moments where I remember that I’m really living my dream, creating constantly and making wonderful connections with so many different humans, getting to do what is quite frankly, such a cool and rewarding job!
Yes the intensity was a lot, and I probably should have paced myself a little more, but I managed my energy well, was strict with my days off and work/life boundaries, and saw my work advance even more. It’s been 2 months that I won’t forget, all rounded off with a beautiful trip up North.

So now I’m looking at less chaotic, but still pretty busy August, with the final shoot for the Sisters in Strength Project, where I’ll then be editing and working on the exhibition and book layouts.
I’m also putting some focus into the two up and coming shoot days: The Gym Shoot Day on 17th September, and the Nude Shoot Day on 15th October - both of these days are £85 per slot, to include your shoot time, 1 digital image, plus an A4 print of your favourite image, tap the link on either of those days to book your shoot slot if you fancy a wonderfully empowering experience.

I’d like to say I’m sorry for the lack of photos in this blog, for the first section, all of the work I’m doing is under wraps until exhibition day (It’s killing me not being able to share images!!), then for Brits I haven’t had the spare funds to purchase my images from the official tog yet. And although I took my camera to Scotland, I haven’t had a chance to edit the images yet - hopefully that will be next month’s blog!