Choose You.
As the year winds to an end, we’ll all be reminiscing on the year we’ve just had, getting excited for some downtime over the holidays, and gradually, thoughts of how 2024 will be will be starting to creep in.
I personally love this energy, the reminiscing over everything I’ve achieved, how I’ve handled the struggles, the lessons learnt, and savouring all of those incredible moments I had the chance to experience.
And I really love looking forwards to the year ahead too, already mentally planning my adventures, starting to set new, bigger goals, it gets me so excited!
But I wanted to make a suggestion to all the beautiful humans reading this blog, something I think we all should aim for come next year (but also starting now!).
As a recovering people pleaser who couldn’t voice their boundaries, I repeatedly abandoned myself for other peoples needs. I found myself burnt out, miserable, disconnected from myself, and never able to do anything for just me without feeling guilty.
Treating myself to the photoshoot that I’ve always wanted to do was such an empowering move! Image of me shot by Pix by Vix
After plenty of soul searching, self discovery, and working with a fantastic therapist, I’ve learnt (And am still learning) to assert myself, to advocate for my own needs, set boundaries, and indulge myself wholly without the shame or guilt.
Essentially, I’ve started choosing myself; and it has been transformative.
Now I carve out time for things that I know will serve me, allow myself treats (like buying cute lingerie, or occasionally getting myself ice cream during the weekly shop that I normally wouldn’t because I didn’t want to spend too much money on myself), I’ve cultivated a pleasure practice that I’m committed to sticking to (That shit has changed my life!), I plan out cute date nights for myself, and I communicate my boundaries and my needs clearly.
In doing all of this, I now feel more self assured in everything I do.
It’s brought about a confidence where I can trust myself, helping me listen to my intuition instead of constantly needing validation on my decisions.
I feel powerful in my own body.
Starting now, and having it as a theme for your 2024, I want you to start choosing you.
Put aside money to spend on yourself (As oppose to only spending on other people), give yourself permission to have the experiences you’ve always wanted to have (Holidays, concerts, photoshoots, days out, all of it!), carve out time for you EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK. And commit to that time, whether it be a relaxing bath, time to watch your favourite show or read a book, whatever appeals. Cultivate a pleasure practice (This can be touching your body in a non sexual way to see what you enjoy, having some intimate time with yourself, cooking a fabulous meal and tuning into every sense as you eat it, whatever feels right for you, just tune in to pleasure).
Learn to advocate for your own needs and practice setting boundaries (I know this one is super scary!) and reinforcing them when they’re not respected.
Choose you, and watch your whole life change.
